Corporate Gibberish Generator™
Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:
We here at projectbrainsaver have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to engineer virally. Without adequate media sourcing, models are forced to become B2B2C. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! If you architect interactively, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to redefine globally. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will raise our aptitude to brand without reducing our capacity to envisioneer. The M&A factor is backward-compatible.projectbrainsaver has revamped the idea of content. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to harness perfectly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "branding" really mean? We frequently incubate mission-critical methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined action-items and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "networks" really mean?
projectbrainsaver is the industry leader of visionary re-sizing. The all-hands meetings factor is strategic. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not robust. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks, ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. Think C2B2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our web-enabled reporting but our capability to upgrade. The capacity to unleash globally leads to the ability to streamline intuitively.
projectbrainsaver has revamped the concept of TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. A company that can scale correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve elegantly. We realize that if you benchmark intra-virally then you may also harness super-globally. If you utilize efficiently, you may have to scale proactively. We think we know that if you facilitate ultra-vertically then you may also iterate iteravely. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The clicks-and-mortar functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of PHP and XForms.
projectbrainsaver practically invented the term "obfuscation". We invariably benchmark B2C2B R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Without sufficient communities, communities are forced to become cutting-edge. Think user-centric. Think cyber-sexy. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. Do you have a plan to become user-centric, magnetic? We will upgrade the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "distributed". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
projectbrainsaver practically invented the term "schemas". We will grow the industry jargon "sexy". It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! If you repurpose transparently, you may have to engage macro-intra-micro-efficiently. Without adequate platforms, technologies are forced to become cross-platform, long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. The mission-critical magnetic, global impactful e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to architect. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be integrated? Think magnetic, world-class. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think dot-com.
We here at projectbrainsaver have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard mega-virtually than to enable macro-intra-extensibly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our intra-virtual out-of-the-box, virally-distributed micro-short-term, social-network-based six-sigma, 24/7 CAE but our capacity to architect. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen branding metrics, e-services are forced to become B2C2B. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B paradigms and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think client-focused. It may seem amazing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT.
At projectbrainsaver, we have come to know how to unleash iteravely. We believe we know that if you innovate micro-iteravely then you may also extend proactively. A company that can utilize fiercely will (one day) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing supervising but our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will step up our aptitude to redefine without reducing our ability to target. We will rev up our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. Think co-branded. Think reconfigurable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean?
Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can engage defiantly will (someday) be able to architect easily. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think holistic. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is efficient. Think magnetic. Think turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.
In association with Amazon.com
Dilbert: When Body Language Goes Bad
By Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert.
Paperback about $10 new.
Dilbert Christmas Lights Red Silk Tie by Roberto Capucci
About $19.
Dilbert: The Complete Animated Series on DVD (4 discs)
All 30 episodes from the first and second seasons!
About $45 new, about $26 used.
I could have been a millionaire ten times sooner with this kit in my toolbag! (-;
